"Stephanie and Jacob"

"November 12, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Goddam bugs. Ugh! Can you believe that my house is infected with bugs. I tried using bug spray or whatever, and these bugs still come back. It's as if their ammune. Yes, I know I spelled it wrong. Get over it you grammar nazi. :-D.
Anyways, do you have any advise to get rid of these pest.
Your friend,
Stephanie."


"November 12, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
Do you know how many spelling/grammar errors you made? It's considerably less then the last emails you sent me. You are learning. Good. Have you tried calling pest control? I heard they were very good at getting rid of bugs and rodents. Ah, I remember when I had a rat problem. Thankfully, that problem was solved by using a cat, and calling pest control. If you mind me asking, what type of bug infestation do you have?
Your friend,
Jacob."


"November 13, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Fine. Ill call them today. Any bugs. Ants and spiders and raoches. There're a lot of them. Theres even some bugs I haven't seen before in my life.
Your friend,
Stephanie."


"November 13, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
You spelled roaches wrong (and you continually leave off apostrophes). Ha ha. Well, I hope that bug problem gets better. Can you describe the type of bugs you have seen?
Your friend,
Jacob."



"November 14, 2011
Dear Jacob,
I mostly see roaches. God, I hate those things. I see centipedes, beetles, wasp, I think there was a few hornets. I'm not sure. They might be wasps.
Your friend,
Stephanie."





"November 15, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
Wow, you have those types of bugs. You, my friend, have the shittiest luck when it comes to bugs. I wonder if there is some wasp nest in your house somewhere. Perhaps in your walls. You may want to tell the pest control guy about all these bugs.
Your friend,
Jacob."


"November 16, 2011
Dear jacob,
thanks for the advice. Sorry, i'm just very tired. Bugs keep mee uop at nite.
Your friend,
Stephanie"


"November 19, 2011
Dear Jacob,
The pest control people came in today. I think the bugs won't be coming back for a while now. Thx for the abvise.
Your friend,
Stephanie."


"November 21, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Um, so how have you've been. You havent been answering my emails about the bug control problem. You can at least say your welcome.  C:
Your friend Stephanie."


"November 21, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
I'm sorry for not replying to your emails. I've been busy. Well, it's good to know that your bug problem was solved. Now, to prevent yourself from getting more bugs, please keep your house clean. Slob. :}
Your friend,
Jacob."



"November 21, 2011
Dear Jacob,
My house isnt that dirty. >:( hmph.
Well, its nice to have no more bugs in my house. Finnally I wont have to wake up to bites and stings on me.
Your friend,
Stephanie."

"November 22, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
You actually woke up with bites? How bad was your bug problem?! As I said before, you really do have the shittiest luck when it comes to bugs. Do you remember that time when we were little and you stepped in an anthill? The ants just crawled up you legs and they stung/bit you. In fact, your whole legs were covered with ants. You were crying really badly. I think you had to go to the hospital that day.
Your friend,
Jacob."

"November 22, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Ugh. Don't remind me of that. Seriously, that event made me afraid of ants for months. I'm still a bit afraid of them because of it.
Your friend,
Stephanie."


"November 25, 2011
Dear Jacob,
I woke up this morning. Do you wanna know what I found in my microwave? Say hello to fire ants. They actually covered the walls of the microwave. I just about jumped outta my skin when I opened my microwave door. Some even bit me. I guess I cant make breakfast anymore. Now i'm gonna strave. Help me jacob. your a good cook. D-:
Your friend,
Stephanie."

"November 25, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
Are you alright? Well, I guess I can make you some food. I'll bring some next time I see you.
Your friend,
Jacob."

"November 25, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Oh thank you! Thank you!
I knew I could count on you.
Your fried,
Stephanie."


"November 25, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
You spelled friend as "fried". Lol.
Your "fried",
Jacob. ;P"



"November 25, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Ha ha very funy. :[
Your friend,
Stephanie."

"November 25, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Thanks for the food. It was tasty.
Your friend,
Stephanie."

"November 30, 2011
Dear Jacob,
I wnt to get some bread an I foiund it to be infested with roaches. The bugs came back quicker than expected. You know what I did with the microwave? I threw it away. I sprayed it with water and then threw it away. There were bugs underneth the microwave and they all just scattered. Big fire ants. And the all swarmed about.
I hear some thing buzzing in my walls.
-Stephanie."

"December 3, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Damn roaches are eating up all my food. I bought some chicken, that was already cookeded, left it on the counter for a bit to get my fork. I stuck me fork in the chicken, ripped out a piece, and out came a whole bunch of roaches. Ughh! I wish that buzzing in the walls would stop.
Your friend,
Stephanie."

"December 3, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
That sucks. Have you been keeping your house clean? I've read that bugs are attracted to places with food left over, AKA—a dirty house.
Call your exterminator again. In fact, get a new one. The other one probably didn't do his job correctly.
Your friend,
Jacob."



"December 3, 2011
Dear Jacob,
I'll call another one tomorrow. Well, thanks for the advize.
Your friend,
Stephanie."



"December 10, 2011
Dear Jacob,
The exterminator came over today. I hope it lasst longer then last time.
Your friend,
Stephanie."

"December 10, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
Well, I hope so too. Hey, how about we go to a movie tomorrow night? Does seven seem like a good time.
Your friend,
Jacob."

"December 10, 2011
Dear Jacob,
That sounds cool. I'd love to go to the movies.
Your friend,
Stephanie."

"December 10, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
I hope you don't mind me bringing some extra friends with me.
Your friend,
Jacob."

"December 10, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Of course I don't mind. You know what the say. 'the more the merryer.'
Your friend,
Stephanine."


"December 15, 2011
Dear Jacob,
They came back. The bugs came back and it wanst long ago that the exterminater got rid of them. It fells like theres more and more coming in and I cant use one room because of how much bugs there are. I hate bugs. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. I hate hemt I hyate then I hate themihatehatehahatehate them
-stephanie."



"December 15, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
Dear lord. Do you want to come over? Just until the bug problem gets under control.
I'm really worried about it.
Your really concerned friend,
Jacob."


"December 15, 2011
Dear Jacob,
No no. it's all right. I can handle iit. I'm not a child you know.
Besifdes, I dont want to give those bastard the satifasion of me leaving.
Your friend,
Stephanie."


"December 15, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
If you say so. Well, if you need to stay over for any reasons, my house is always open.
Your friend,
Jacob."

"December 18, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Thanks for the offer. Well, the bug problem hasn't disappeared yet, but I think I can tolerate them.
Your friend,
Stephanie."


"December 20, 2011
Dear Jacob,
My skin itches and it feels like somethings crawling under it. God, it burns.
-Stephanie."


"December 20, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
I think some of the bugs must have bitten you. Please, go to the hospital.
Your friend,
Jacob."


"December 28, 2011
dear jacob,
it hurts. my skin is burning and i thought i saw something moving underneth. it hurt sooo miufch an i grabbed a knife i cut upen a part of my arm and ants/termites/roaches/any type of bugs came out. some fell to the floor but most crawled right back in my skin.
-steaphni"


"December 28, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
Stephanie. Please, please go to the hospital. You haven't been coming to work in days and everyone misses you. I miss you. Please go to see a doctor.
Your Extremely Concerned Friend Who's Worried About You,
Jacob."


"January 5, 2012
Dear jscob,
I went to bed last night. When I woke up I saw a whole bunch ov burgd s crwaling into mu mouth. An my my nose and ears and my other holes that are very private. I could feel them. So I got the same nife4 that I used befor and id cut and cut and cut and slice and slice but they keep going back in. my arms are bloddy and my legs are bloody. They just barrow into my skin and it itches.
-steph"


"January 6, 2012
Dear Stephanie,
Oh god no. I told you to go to the hospital. Why didn't you go when I asked of you? Please go to one right away. We're still waiting for you to come back to work. I don't want you to get fired.
Your Friend,
Jacob."

"January 17, 2012
Dear Stephanie,
I haven't heard from you in a while. Please tell me you're alright.
Your friend,
Jacob."

"January 30, 2012
Dear Stephanie,
I heard Mr. Jones talking about firing you. He says that if you don't show up soon, then he will fire you. We can't let that happen. Please come back.
Your friend,
Jacob."


"February 11, 2012
Dear Stephanie,
You've been replaced. I'm sorry for that.
We still miss you.
Your friend,
Jacob."


"February 18, 2011
Dear Stephanie,
I don't care if it's weird to be emailing a person who I haven't seen in months. How have you been? I heard that Noah and Karen are getting married. I always knew they would get married. I was waiting for Noah to finally admit his feelings for the lucky gal. You should have seen to look on Karen's face. It was priceless.
Have you gotten better? Did you get rid of the bugs?
Your Friend,
Jacob.
PS When I was little, I used to fantasize about marrying you."


"March 2, 2012
Dear Stephanie,
Why won't you answer the phone? Did you change your phone number? Why won't you reply to my emails? Did you change your email address? If so, why the hell didn't you tell me? Do you hate me now? You know, I wouldn't have bothered to call you late at night, losing some sleep in the process, if you were just honest about your feelings. You shouldn't have led me on. Why didn't you tell me you hated me from the start? Why did you make me believe that we actually had something special?
Jacob."


"March 10, 2012
Dear Stephanie,
I'm really sorry about that last email. I know it took me about a week to apologize, but I was scared. I was afraid that if you didn't hate me then, you would hate me now. Please, please accept this apology.
I really miss you. Please come back.
Your friend,
Jacob."

"March 21, 2012
Dear Stephanie,
Are you still mad at me? Look, I'm sorry for what I did. I was just hurt that you didn't replied. My heart was aching for you and it hurts so much.
Everyone else are able to be happy. I wanted us to be happy together.
What I really want to say, and I wished I said it sooner, is: I love you.
Love,
Jacob."


"March 24, 2011
Dear Jacob,
Come meet us me at the park at twelve am.
Cant wait to see you.~ want to show you something.
Love
Stephanie."